When I looked up "stupid hockey," Sean Avery was one of the top results. So here's a picture of Dany Heatley.

While the off-season isn’t quite done yet, there’s a pretty good chance that most of the NHL’s general managers got their bouts of stupidity out already, as that what’s July 1st is for. However, some GMs proved that their stupidity goes above and beyond any expectations, causing much hilarity and grief simultaneously.

Since next to nothing has happened over the past few days, here is my personal rankings of the stupidity this off-season.

1. Dany Heatley

Dany Heatley is one of the league’s premier (if a bit one-dimensional) snipers. He almost always reaches that revered PPG plateau, and his skills would be welcome on most teams. Why is he the “stupidest” part of this off-season? Well, a demand for a trade after one year on his new 6 year, $7.5M per contract, complete with a NMC would give him consideration. Going public with his desire to be traded puts him on the list. Publically refusing to be traded to a certain team after demanding said trade puts him right at the top.

2. The Gomez deal

Scott Gomez, probably the only Hispanic Alaskan to ever play in the NHL, has the misfortune of having the second-worst contract in the NHL, given out by the free agent-happy Glen Sather. He then failed to live up to expectations, being only an above-average playmaking center making more than Joe Thornton (who got about twice as many assists). Getting anything besides mid-round picks or low-level players/prospects in return would be a steal. Hell, just being able to trade the guy would be a steal.

So when Bob Gainey offered Chris Higgins, Ryan McDonagh, and Pavel Valentenko for Gomez, Tom Pyatt, and Mike Busto, Glen Sather took it and ran. McDonagh is a blue-chip defensive prospect and Higgins is a winger that has the upside of around 50 points. Pyatt and Busto are low-level prospects in the AHL and ECHL respectively. Gainey got absolutely fleeced, a consensus among Habs bloggers, and Sather became king…

3. Gaborik at 5 years, $7.5M per

…Until he signed Marion Gaborik to this deal. Granted, a dynamic sniper that was able to put up the points on the defensively-minded Wild is something that the Rangers sorely need, but the fact is his groin is made out of glass. He averaged about 51 games per season since the lockout, and has never played a full 82 in his career. Last season, he played a grand total of 17 games between various injuries and surguries that sidelined him for the rest of the 65.

The length of the contract, considering his injury history, concerns me. What concerns me more? That $7.5M cap hit, rendering him near-impossible to move in the current NHL. With his injury history, Gaborik probably could have been signed in the neighborhood of $6M. So Sather overpaid an injury-prone player by at least $1M, effectively rendering him near-immovable with or without a NTC.

Its good to know that some things never change.

4. Hossa signs in Chicago

The contract alone – $5.23M per year for 12 years – isn’t that bad considering the caliber of the player, although I would think the length is questionable. True, it means that the Blackhawks are destined to lose in the Stanley Cup Finals for the next 12 years or so, but its still a decent signing. Why is it on the stupid list, you ask? Well, Chicago’s two young faces of the franchise (Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews) are set to become RFAs next year, and due for some pretty hefty raises from their ELCs. Because of the Hossa signing (as well as Campbell and Huet), there is little to no cap room left, especially with the ceiling rumored to come down by as much as $6M.

Of course, the fail doesn’t stop there. Continuing his trend of putting his foot in his mouth (“When I compared the two teams, I felt like I would have a little better of a chance to win the Cup in Detroit”), here’s what Hossa had to say after signing in Chicago, a bitter divisional rival of Detroit:

If there’s no salary cap, I’m sure I would still be in Detroit.

So, twelve years, is it?

5. Montreal – the Land of the Midgets

All summer, I’ve been hearing from Habs fans and media alike that they need to sign a “big centerman.” So who does Bob Gainey go out and get?

Jarolslav Spacek – D, 5’11″, 198lbs for $3.83M per for 3 years.
Brian Gionta – RW, 5’7″, 175lbs for $5M per for 5 years.
Mike Cammalleri – C, 5’9″, 180lbs for $6M per for 5 years.
Scott Gomez – C, 5’11″, 200lbs for $7.36M per for 5 years.

Two centers, with all four players being under 6′. Granted, Gainey did sign the 6’7″ Hal Gill, but as Gill isn’t exactly the most mobile defenseman ever, it doesn’t quite make up for it.

But seriously, all four of those players are overpaid (some moreso than others), and their signing probably make the Canadiens the smallest team in the league.

6. Dale Tallon and the Disappearing QOs

To sum up what has become a very complicated legal issue: Tallon was supposed to send his qualifying offers to potential RFAs in a certain way by a certain date. He did not abide by either of those guidelines, and because of it Calder nominee Kris Versteeg can potentially become a UFA 4 years before he’s supposed to, therefore able to garner a much higher salary than as an RFA.

To sum that up? Chicago is even more screwed than they were than when it was just Hossa.

7. Canucks sign Raycroft

Raycroft is the third-worst goaltender since the lockout by save percentage, following Dan “Most Beachball Photoshops Ever” Cloutier and Jussi Markkanen. I think that says it all. If not, go here for Mirtle’s take.

So, that sums it up. I’m sure that there will be more stupid deals as the summer goes on, but those were the ones that made me go LOLWUT as soon as I heard them. Feel free to add more in the comments, or disagree with me.