You know how sometimes you’re watching a game, and its just so amazingly absurd that you can’t help but laugh at it? Well, there have been quite a few moments like that for the Sharks this past season, some that are pure laughers, and some that make you want to – to use an internet colloquialism – headdesk. So, in a fit of boredom combined with the fact that I haven’t updated in 10 days, I have created a list of the 10 most absurd/WTF? moments of the Sharks’s season.

10. Murray’s two-for-one – Video here (35 seconds in)

Douglas Murray likes to hit people. No, that’s not right; Douglas Murray likes to let people hit him, but make them fall down. Its a not very common trait, but it makes for some amazing moments. Like the one during the December 13 game against St. Louis. Murray was carrying the puck by the boards near the end of his bench, when a Blues player saw fit to line him up for a hit. He hit Murray, but instead of Murray going down, the force of impact knocked both the hitter and another Blues player down in one fell swoop.

9. Staubitz’s goal against Roloson – Video here

Brad Staubitz. Alexei Semenov. Douglas Murray. Three players that are not known for their offensive prowess. In fact, before January 9, they had a grand total of two points between the three of them. But in a strange play where the puck rebounded off a linesman, all three picked up points on a goal scored by Staubitz. It was a goal against noted Sharks killer, Dwayne Roloson, which makes it all the more weird.

8. Corey Perry, goalie-seeking missile

Corey Perry crashes Nabokov’s crease and ends up on top of him. Okay, fairly regular occurrence. But then, as Perry is sitting on Nabokov’s legs, he cross-checks Nabokov twice in the back of the legs, where there is no padding. That’s just Perry being Perry, and he should get some discipline from the league, right? Well, not only does nothing happen, but he goes and complains to the media that Nabokov kicked him, and that Nabby should be suspended.

Even more absurd? The next time the Sharks and Ducks met up, Perry attacked a Sharks goalie again, this time Boucher. In the waning seconds, he tackled Boucher into the net, and then proceeded to stomp on him as he was getting up. And still no repercussions from that.

7. Fourth line: Staubitz-Shelley-Semenov

In late March, the Sharks went through a period of time when 9 roster players were injured. Because the Sharks’s farm team Worcester was in the playoffs race themselves, the big Sharks didn’t want to call up too many players to play for a team that virtually clinched the division by Thanksgiving. So, in an effort to get bodies on the ice, the Staubitz-Shelley-Semenov line was formed.

Why is it so absurd? Staubitz is an AHL enforcer with minimal skill who was converted to forward a year earlier. Semenov is a 7th defenseman who has never played forward, and who has probably put more pucks in his own team’s net than the opposition’s. Shelley, by far the most experienced and skilled of the bunch, is a heavyweight NHL enforcer with the ability to get maybe 10 points in a good year. This is not a line that should be seen ever. It still makes me cringe.

6. Semenov’s Glove of Doom
Picture from Fear the Fin

Alexei Semenov is listed at 6’6″, which is quite tall. Add on another 3′ for his arm length above his head, and he can reach around 9′ high. Remember this.

So, during a game against Dallas where the Sharks were leading 4-0, a Dallas forward took a shot that was going way over the net, probably by a good 4 feet or so. Semenov, in a moment of “WTF were you thinking,” decided to reach up with his hand and try to block the shot. The puck deflected off of his hand and over Nabokov’s shoulder.

Lesson learned: if you are 6’6″ and have to reach UP to block a shot, the shot isn’t going to go in the goal. Trust me on this one.

5. High stick on Cheechoo

This moment definitely taught everyone a new rule. Cheechoo was brutally high-sticked by Kane, but the refs completely missed it. He went off the ice to get some stitches (like I said, brutal), and during that time the Blackhawks scored a goal. The linesman then goes to the referee and tells him that Cheechoo was high-sticked that resulted in an injury (aka a double-minor high sticking). They get Cheechoo back on the ice to confirm the injury, then go to video review to see who did it. After all that, they disallow Chicago’s goal, not take any time off the clock, and put Kris Versteeg in the penalty box. Craziness.

4. Grier missing the empty net

Its a December game against the Ducks, and the Sharks are up 2-0 late in the third period with the Ducks’ goalie pulled. Victory is all but assured, but it wouldn’t hurt to get another goal. Mike Grier gets the puck and is clear all the way to the empty net; he could just skate right up to the goal and push it in for the first empty net goal for the Sharks that season. But no, he decides to try and shoot it from the top of the circles. He hits the post.

3. Pavelski’s phantom headbutt

In a heated game against Dallas, there was a bit of a scrum by Turco with 9 seconds left in the first period. Everyone got into it, but there wasn’t much except for a few roughings. Not according to Darryl Sydor, however, who told linesman Mike Cvik that Pavelski headbutted him. Pavelski was awarded an intent to injure penalty and was ejected from the game, with a suspension pending an NHL review. But, according to video replay, there wasn’t anything close to headbutt.

That one March game doubled his penalty minutes despite him playing in one period, and on a phantom call. That is simply amazing.

2. Semenov failing to get a fighting major – Video here

During a Flames game, Alexei Semenov and Andre Roy drop their gloves and start fighting, er, hugging. Each are given two minutes for roughing, odd since they dropped their gloves, but understandable since it wasn’t much more than a hug-fest.

Fast-forward two minutes. Both get out of the box, Semenov whiffs on a scoring chance, and then they immediately drop their gloves again. This time, both throw punches for 20 seconds until Roy takes down Semenov. The result? 2 minutes for roughing. Again.

1. Botched 2-on-0 breakaway – Video here

This one takes the cake. Thornton tried to take a shot from the point but breaks his stick, and goes back to the bench to get another one. Pavelski then pinches to try and keep the puck in the offensive zone, but misses and allows Dustin Brown to pick up the puck. Brown is joined by Anze Kopitar and they skate through the neutral zone to the Sharks’ zone, completely unobstructed by anything – the most obvious 2-on-0 you will ever see. Easy goal for the Kings, right? Well, probably except that neither Brown nor Kopitar even got off a shot, with Brown passing it to Kopitar and then both of them ending up behind the net with the puck – Nabokov didn’t even have to make a save.

Just amazing. A breakout that was absurd in itself that transformed into an EPIC FAIL by the Kings is easily the most absurd moment in the Sharks season.
 

There you have it. The ten most absurd moments on the ice for the Sharks this past season. To be fair, there is one more that should probably be in there above Murray’s hit at the very least, but its a moment that I’d really rather not think about. Internet bonus points (or a photoshop/banner if I’m in the mood) to whoever guesses it first. Hint: its in the regular season. And its a game that the Sharks eventually lose.

Feel free to virtually yell at me for any absurd moments that you feel I have missed.