If you don’t know this already, I’m off at college now. Whole new world, living on my own, and so on. Well, in this whole new world comes whole new people. Except that those people look an awful lot like people that I already know… of.

I have no pictures, because going around campus taking pictures of random people would make me look crazy, so allow me to use half-assed photoshops to make my point.

The first look-alike I came across was a dead ringer for Giants pitcher Matt Cain, only shorter, thinner, and more flamboyant.

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Second is this guy I saw walking around campus once at night. Looked exactly like Patrick Marleau, only with lots of beer. Well, it’s mainly the monster eyebrows that make him look like Marleau, but still.

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The last one I saw isn’t exactly a doppelganger, it’s more of an unholy union. You know Conan’s whole “If they had kids” segment? Yeah, it’s like that.

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There is a man out there that looks like this. Be afraid. Be very afraid.*

*Note: Okay, so that’s not exactly what the guy looks like, but it is an uncanny resemblance. A bit of Matt Barkley in there as well.