So, uh, hey! Long time no see! Now, I have an excuse, I really do. A five game losing streak and only 3 games in 13 days is not very conducive to creativity. Neither are finals, which were also during this rather long period of time. But hey, Sharks are now on a three game winning streak (somehow), it’s Christmas, and the Sharks were on Versus. Those three things just get your creative juices flowing, you know?

So, the Sharks won on Tuesday despite being outshot something like 274y6492-14. Okay, it was more like 47-14, but still. That set a new franchise record for the Sharks, being outshot by that much. In fact, the Hawks got off more shots each period than the Sharks had total. Well, the second period they only had 11 shots, but that’s only 3 fewer and they made up for it with their 21 shot (!!!) third period.

That incredible number of shots means only one thing: a companion to the “Marleau = Beast” series.

The shot disparity could also be explained by the fact that the the Sharks had played the night before, they got the lead relatively early and kept it throughout the game, and the special teams situation. And by the word “situation,” it means that there’s a rant coming on.

For the past three games, the Sharks had never trailed. Actually, once they gained the lead, they never lost it. Meaning that the other team would have to play more aggressive so they can score goals, which generally means that the team with the leading would be given more power plays. Instead, there was 84:10 between Sharks powerplays, during which the Sharks had 8 penalty kills. Somehow, the Stars didn’t commit any penalties in that game. Yeah, and I’m Marty Turco. There were several instances of Stars players committing infractions that were at the level of those the Sharks committed, except that the Stars didn’t get called while the Sharks did. And somehow in scrums, the Sharks were the only team to get penalized. That continued on a bit into the Hawks game, although I concede that the difference was not as great and the Hawks were controlling play.

Now, I’m not pulling a Wings fan or a Bryan Murray and saying that the league is conspiring against the Sharks, but the disparity between calls was absolutely horrible. One team should not get 5 power plays and the other team zero, unless the game is an absolute blowout.

Anyways, since it’s a Versus broadcast, I have a few observations:

• So, Hawks fans get to listen to Eddie O do the commentary on Versus, and Sharks fans get… I dunno, some Versus guy. I just know that it’s not Randy Hahn or Dan Rusanowsky, the Sharks play-by-play guys for the TV and radio, respectively. I get that Eddie O does analysis on Versus regularly, but if it’s supposed to be an neutral broadcast, try to not have one of the regular announcers for one of the teams, okay?
• Somehow in 37 games, the Sharks have become Dany Heatley’s team, despite him not leading the team in either goals or points (those belong to Marleau and Thornton, respectively). At least it’s different from perpetually being Joe Thornton’s team, I guess. And if they went by captaincy and we were really Rob Blake’s team, everyone would take at least one bad penalty per game. That would kind of suck.
• That font they chose for “HAPPY HOLIDAYS!” is absolutely horrible. Here’s a hint: generally, brush stroke-based fonts are not supposed to be in all caps. I think I learned that when I was nine, after seeing how ugly it looked. Brush Script Std looks so good when it’s just “Happy Holidays!”, why couldn’t have you done that?
• I don’t like the Blackhawks’ third jersey. Didn’t like it at the Winter Classic, don’t like it now. I liked their old one, where it was just a black version of their red home jersey. Why change a good thing?
• Vlasic leading the rush always looks weird to me, since he’s a defensive defenseman and all that.
• I swear, Scott Nichol has scored himself more than he’s scored goals this year. He just keeps falling into the net. Definitely not a bad thing, since he’s continually crashing the net, but it’s just kind of funny.
• WWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???????????????
• If you were confused, Versus showed replays and kept talking about the infamous game before Thanksgiving in which the Sharks – pardon my French – shit the bed.
• I think they had the first Joe Thornton interview where he was actually wearing a shirt. Craziness.
• Versus decided that shots of Joel Quennville and Duncan Keith would be more interesting than shots of a violent scrum/brawl. I disagree.
• Um, by the way, Dany Heatley and Marian Hossa were never teammates. They were traded for each other. So yes, they both played for the Atlanta Thrashers, you got that right, but they never played together.