Made specifically for the playoff run as an updated version of my previous Zoolander gif.

Suck It Russell Martin. Also, first time experimenting with animating.

Initially only had Timmy, I added Zito and Cain in.

Matt Cain as Citizen Kane.

First major gif undertaking, inspired the earlier playoff gif.

Velez ran into Russell Martin at the plate. Therefore, Suck It Russell Martin.

Bochy and Uribe do a handshake before a game.

Uribe decides to dance before a game.

Freddy Sanchez reacts to Denny Bautista getting a hit.

Lincecum amuses himself on an off-day by trying to stuff as much gum in his mouth as he can. Cain helps.

Sandoval makes a horrible baserunning error. Man, I’m glad I can look back on this and laugh.

Huff hits a homer to all but destroy the Rockies’ hopes of coming back, and reacts to the sudden silencing of the Rockies fans.

Molina’s dream becomes his worst nightmare.

Affeldt laughs at an ugly finder that goes into the Rockies’ dugout.

He ain’t havin’ it.

First time making a gif without gifsoup; Bumgarner is mad.

Sergio Romo and Amy G. Enough said.

Amy G’s disapproving finger shake to Romo.

Anyways, as I dove headfirst into Giants baseball (which is something like diving head first into the shallow end of the pool: torture), I realized there was something very familiar about this ballclub. The front office, the players, the history… It seemed like I had seen this before, only on ice and in a place where a “double double” isn’t a cheeseburger. All of a sudden, I got it.

The San Francisco Giants and the Toronto Maple Leafs are the same team. Look:

• Their offenses were composed of a single, 22 year old player who was expected to carry the team on his back. Not only that, but that player is less than average on defense. This idea, while initially thought to be completely sound, failed spectacularly.
   
• Neither Bengie Molina nor Vesa Toskala can block a small, roundish object unless it was directed right at their chests, even if it was a Barry Zito fastball or a Rob Davison clearing attempt from 180 feet away (which have about the same velocity).
   
• They have the worst of two trios: Bengie of the Molina brothers, and Toskala of the Warren Strelow-trained goalies.
   
• Brian Sabean and Brian Burke both have a penchant for gritty gamers. “Truculence” is Burke’s catch phrase, and if Sabean knew what that word meant he’d probably use it too.
   
• The Giants haven’t won the World Series since they left New York. The Maple Leafs haven’t won since the the leage expanded from 6 teams. Both teams haven’t won since before Chris Chelios could read (granted, growing up all he had were cave paintings, but still).
   
• Wayne Gretzky’s high stick and the Game 6 game ball both have the innate ability to send their respective fanbases into a blind rage with a passing mention.
   
• Good enough to miss out on a top pick (well, when it matters), but bad enough to miss that thing where you play longer than usual for that shiny thing.
   
• Lee Stempniak was traded to the Coyotes and started scoring at almost a goal per game pace. Fred Lewis was traded to the Blue Jays and is now on pace to set the record for most doubles. Similar comparisons can be made with Alexei Ponikarovsky and Kevin Frandsen.
   
• John Ferguson Jr and Brian Sabean have about the same mental capacity. Incidentally, so does a baboon, although I might be selling the baboon short.
   
• Both Bruce Bochy’s and Ron Wilson’s heads are huge. Although, Wilson’s is figeratively, while Bochy’s is freak-of-nature big.
   
• Both teams almost entirely consist of players that would be great complimentary players on a contending team. See: Kaberle, Tomas and Rowand, Aaron.
   
• The Maple Leafs make money for a pension fund. Giants give money to old players for their own pension funds.
   
• Brian Wilson’s nickname is “the Cardiac Kid.” Jonas Gustavsson needed heart surgery.
   
• Both teams have had long, heated rivalries with teams whose hometown fans have been known to riot after an inconsequential playoff win.
   
• The entire fate of the franchises rest on the shoulders of Buster Posey and Nazem Kadri. No pressure, guys.
   
• Aaron Rowand is a gritty defensive specialist that has a penchant for running into walls. Dion Phaneuf is a gritty defenseman that has a penchant for running into people.
   
• If it weren’t for Chicago teams, everybody would be focusing on their drought instead… Err, nevermind.
   

I have no pictures, because going around campus taking pictures of random people would make me look crazy, so allow me to use half-assed photoshops to make my point.

The first look-alike I came across was a dead ringer for Giants pitcher Matt Cain, only shorter, thinner, and more flamboyant.

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Second is this guy I saw walking around campus once at night. Looked exactly like Patrick Marleau, only with lots of beer. Well, it’s mainly the monster eyebrows that make him look like Marleau, but still.

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The last one I saw isn’t exactly a doppelganger, it’s more of an unholy union. You know Conan’s whole “If they had kids” segment? Yeah, it’s like that.

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…

 

There is a man out there that looks like this. Be afraid. Be very afraid.*

*Note: Okay, so that’s not exactly what the guy looks like, but it is an uncanny resemblance. A bit of Matt Barkley in there as well.

• Freddie Sanchez “grounds out” to third base. Except he beats the throw to the base.
• Aaron Rowand grounds to second, where the short stop tags second and throws to first base. The first baseman drops the ball (never had control of it) and picks it up as Rowand reaches the bag. Umpire calls him out. Thing is, the first baseman was about a foot off the bag, and never tagged it after picking up the ball.
• Pablo Sandoval gets hit by a pitch, and the umpire rules it a foul ball.
• Nate Scheirholtz hits the ball to the second baseman, who tags Pablo Sandoval with an empty glove while holding the ball with his other hand (aka, not an out). The second base ump rules it an out, but the first base ump overturns it as he watched the play. But then he called Scheirholtz out at first. Not only did Scheirholtz easily beat the throw, but the ump wasn’t even looking at first base, instead watching Sandoval.
• Juan Uribe fields a ground ball and throws it to Travis Ishikawa for an out at first in the top of the ninth. The throw beats the runner, Ishikawa is on base, and it should have been an out. The runner was ruled safe. That call cost Lincecum a much-deserved complete game win.
• Because of arguing with the calls, both manager Bruce Bochy and (later) acting manager Ron Wotus were ejected from the game today. Despite jumping on Pablo Sandoval, Russel Martin was not. Bochy was also ejected Monday for arguing with a call.

Video evidence below, featuring an unusually riled-up JT Snow.Youtube took the video down, so I guess you’ll just have to trust me and the thousands of Giants fans who watched the series.