Kovalchuk signed a 17 year, $100M contract with the Devils that has been since rejected by the NHL.

Blackhawks continue to blow up their team.

Sharks have re-signed RFA Steve Zalewski to a league minimum, two-way contract.

…And that’s pretty much it for big/Sharks-related news in the NHL. Now excuse me, I’m going to go tan on the beach. If the sun ever comes out, that is.

For those of you completely confused by that first paragraph (how can she get even more beautiful?), here’s a bit of an explanation about the rules concerning free agency. There are two basic types of free agents: unrestricted (UFAs) and restricted (RFAs). UFAs are, with some exceptions, players older than 27. As soon as noon eastern on July 1 hits, a UFA can sign with any team they want, with their former team not getting any compensation. RFAs are players under 27 whose contracts are up but have been qualified by their team. Qualifying offers is basically where a team offers the minimum contract allowed in order to retain that player’s rights. Once they have his rights, if another team signs that player to the offer sheet (giving them a contract that they accept), the team that holds the rights has a chance to either match the offer and retain the player to the exact contract the other team gave the RFA, or let the player go and receive compensation in the form of draft picks based on the cap hit.

Here’s the situation: Chicago can either match the Sharks’ offer and retain Hjalmarsson for a $3.5M cap hit, or they can give him up and receive the Sharks’ 1st and 3rd round picks in the 2011 draft. The Blackhawks currently have $3.6M in cap space after their bonus penalties, and need to add at least 6 players to the roster. If they chose to match the Sharks’ offer, they will have to waive Cristobal Huet, and fill the roster out with near-league minimum players. They will likely lose Niemi as well, as he chose to go to arbitration and will likely be awarded more than they can give him. The Sharks, on the other other hand, already have seven defensemen signed, and will likely have to trade one if Chicago does not match.

GMs don’t offer sheet RFAs. It’s like an unspoken agreement around the league that teams leave RFAs alone, save for trying to trade for their rights and negotiate on their own. Brian Burke is possibly the most outspoken about it, stemming from when Kevin Lowe signed away Dustin Penner from his team at the time, the Anaheim Ducks. Since the inception of the offer sheet, it has only been used a few times, the last time being the aforementioned Penner signing. It has become status quo that RFAs are as good as re-signed, provided they are qualified.

Doug Wilson changed that. For a guy that is such a stickler about decorum and league rules (he refuses to discuss his thoughts about any player not on his team, save for comparisons of Kent Huskins to Rob Scuderi), he was the one that broke the status quo and signed an RFA to an offer sheet.

This was a ballsy move that took advantage of a cap-strapped team. I love it. If Chicago matches, they’re hurt even more cap-wise. If they don’t, Sharks shore up their defense with a young shut-down defenseman. It’s win-win for the Sharks, and lose-lose for the Blackhawks. This is what offer sheeting was supposed to do – make teams mind their cap space more, and allow teams to take advantage of teams who don’t.

Doug Wilson has made this the summer of revenge towards the team that swept the Sharks this playoffs. He first helped facilitate the trade of Byfuglien, Sopel, and Eager to the Thrashers to help dismantle the Blackhawks’ role players, and now he’s attempting to steal out Hjalmarsson from under the Blackhawks and making them make roster decisions much sooner than they would have otherwise (they probably would have waited until after Niemi’s arbitration hearing on July 29th). This is the ultimate response to a playoff sweep, outside of returning the favor.

But besides the kick-ass revenge factor, a Hjalmarsson signing is great on its own. He’s young – only 23, the same age as Vlasic – and already is experienced and a top 4 defenseman. He will instantly be the Sharks’ third-best defenseman, after Boyle and Vlasic. He’s not in the role of the offensive puck-moving defenseman that Wilson loves, but he’s also not the 5th/6th defenseman that the Sharks have four of already. Yeah, he sucked in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals, but he was a large part of the reason why he was in the Finals and the Sharks weren’t.

There’s at the most a week before we all find out whether or not Niklas Hjalmarsson is a San Jose Shark. While I’m personally hoping that Chicago doesn’t match, making the Sharks’ defense that much better instantly, there really isn’t a bad outcome in this situation.

One of the Sharks' 20th anniversary logos, also revealed this week

I’ll be following the draft both today and tomorrow, but here’s just a quick rundown of what has happened this past week.

Brad Staubitz to the Minnesota Wild for a 5th round pick
I like this move. The Sharks only had four draft picks this year, and managed to get another one by giving up their “most minor penalties taken per 60 minutes in the NHL” enforcer. And not a 7th rounder, which I would have expected for an RFA enforcer – a 5th! And regarding team toughness, which does admittedly go down a bit with Staubitz’s departure, there are two prospects in the AHL who both bring size, fighting ability, and actual hockey skills to the table: Frazer McLaren and Brandon Mashinter. See ya, Staubtiz, and to paraphrase the great Humphrey Bogart: We’ll always have Tootoo.

NHL Schedule was released
If you haven’t seen my giant run-down of the schedule yet, click here.

Evgeni Nabokov will not be re-signed
I promise to have an entire post dedicated to him after the craziness of the draft and everything dies down, but for now, let me just say that while it was probably time for the Sharks to move on from the goalie that has been the stalwart in goal for the past decade, all Sharks fans will miss him. From his quirky sense of humor and die-hard competitiveness to chanting “NABBY! NABBY! NABBY!” most every game, from breaking onto the scene with a Calder Trophy to the save of the decade against Brendan Morrow in 2008, we will always remember the greatest goalie in Sharks history. I, for one, will give Nabby a standing ovation whenever the Sharks may play him. And I also hope that someday in the future, his number 20 will be raised to the rafters of HP Pavilion.

Sharks receive Brett Sterling, Mike Vernace, and a 7th round pick from the Atlanta Thrashers for future considerations
This trade seems weird on the surface, but in the context of that night it makes perfect sense. The Chicago Blackhawks were dumping a bunch of contracts they didn’t want on Atlanta (including Shark killer Dustin Byfuglien), but that would have caused Atlanta to go over the contract limit. So the Sharks swooped in, acquired two expiring contracts that would only be valid for the next week or so, and got a 7th round pick for the troubles. Future considerations is a fancy way of saying nothing. So, basically, the Sharks received a 7th round pick for helping deplete the Chicago Blackhawks’ depth and get Byfuglien into the other conference. There is no downside to this.

Patrick Marleau signs for 4 years, $6.9M per
The first of two contract signings yesterday. I’d been advocating for Marleau to be re-signed ever since it became clear that he wasn’t going to be traded. He was the top center UFA out there, with 44 goals and 84 points the past season. It was expected that he’d probably re-sign with the Sharks, although that didn’t stop armchair GMs from drooling over him. His contract falls in line with other Doug Wilson deals – relatively short and the complete opposite of cap circumvention. It’s a bit more expensive than I would have liked, but he does deserve it over his past two seasons, and would be incredibly hard to replace. Shark for life, please.

Joe Pavelski signs for 4 years, $4M per
This is right around where most people pegged him at, even a little less for some, especially after his “Big Pavelski” playoffs. He was one of the ultimate steals the past two years, signed for only $1.67M, and so he deserves the doubled salary. Especially compared to Ryan Kesler – who is a very similar player in most regards and is signed for $1M more – this is a great contract for the 25 year old player, who is by all accounts still going to get better.

The schedule is as follows:

The games highlighted in yellow denote back-to-backs

As has been much publicized over the past few months, the Sharks will be starting their season in Stockholm, Sweden against the Columbus Blue Jackets in a back-to-back “home and home.” The Sharks will technically start their season at home, but their first game in the Tank is also their first game back on North American soil against the Atlanta Thrashers. Their first short homestand will also include a game against the Carolina Hurricanes, before they go on the road for a Northwest division road trip.

The three Eastern Conference teams the Sharks play twice are the Washington Capitals, Buffalo Sabres, and New Jersey Devils. The Sharks played both the Capitals and Sabres twice last year, and replaced the Flyers with the Devils.

As with last year, the Washington Captials have not beat the Sharks at the Tank in now 14 years. However, Ovechkin did manage to score a goal against the Sharks last year, breaking that streak. It still would be nice to see the long record at the Tank hold up. The games will be on February 8 at Washington, and February 17 at San Jose.

Last year’s away game with the Sabres marked only the second and final time the Sharks were shut out all season, with the first being a 1-0 shootout loss. It was notable because it was right before the Olympics, and helped American Hero Ryan Miller get back on track. The games will be on December 9 at Buffalo, and January 6 at San Jose.

The only game the Sharks played the Devils last year was a 4-3 loss, and the first game after the Olympics. However, it was a notable game because the Sharks had a 3 goal third period, just falling short of a comeback. The next three games the Sharks would set an NHL record with the most consecutive regulation comebacks after being down entering the third period. The games will be on October 27 at San Jose, and February 11 at New Jersey.

National Television Targets

Last season, the Sharks were on Versus four times, and NBC none (as has been par for the course since they switched away from regional broadcasts). Unlike the season before last, the Sharks didn’t even have an option of being picked up on NBC last season. However, due to their strong postseason and high ratings garnered in their series against Detroit (set record for highest semifinal ratings on Versus) and Chicago (Game 4 set a record on NBC), there would probably be more of an incentive for the national broadcasts to pick up a Sharks game or five.

Versus only broadcasts on Mondays and Tuesdays (barring any special circumstances) and NBC only broadcasts on Sundays and after the new year (except for the Winter Classic). So, with that in mind, here are some candidates for possible national broadcasts:

Versus:

October 8/9 vs/at Columbus Blue Jackets – These two games will be on Versus, I guarantee it. I mean, they’re in Stockholm and part of the Europe season opener. If they don’t broadcast these two games on Versus, something went wrong with Versus or something.
November 2, at Minnesota – Versus likes Minnesota for some reason. And they had a Sharks-Wild game last season. Plus, it’s the highly anticipated game where Brad Staubitz plays the Sharks for the first time since the trade!
November 15, vs Los Angeles Kings – There’s the whole Northern California/Southern California rivalry, and the Kings are actually good now. Then again, they are both Californian teams, and it’s at the Tank, which Versus hates. Maybe not.
November 30/December 6/February 22, vs/at Detroit Red Wings – Already a great match-up before last season’s playoffs, but last season’s semifinals series just makes these three games even more attractive to Versus. The two in Detroit are more likely of the three to happen, because of the aforementioned aversion to San Jose.
February 8, at Washington Capitals – The Capitals are one of Versus’s favorite teams, and a matchup against the Sharks would pit two of the most dynamic teams in the league against each other.
March 1, versus Colorado Avalance – A rematch of the first round series from last season, Versus also showed a Sharks-Avs game last season (albeit because of Joe Sakic night and the season opener).
March 14, at Chicago Blackhawks – Western Conference Finals rematch, two of the best teams in the West, and a proven ratings winner. This and one of the Detroit dates are probably the most likely to be chosen outside of the Stockholm games.

NBC:

January 9, at Anaheim Ducks – Mainly because it’s one of only two Sunday games they will play after the new year begins. It would be nice if NBC recognized the Sharks/Ducks rivalry, but fat chance of that happening.
February 13, at Florida Panthers – Mainly because it’s one of only two Sunday games they will play after the new year begins. Like with Anaheim, fat chance that they’ll show a game between a California and Florida team.

Basically, don’t hold your breath for an NBC game this season, unless the Sharks make it to the Western Conference Finals again.

Month by Month Breakdown

October
5* home, 4 road, 13,947.773 miles traveled

The second-shortest month in terms of games due to the season starting mid-October and the travel from Sweden, it also has the most miles traveled due to the travel to and from Sweden. All non-playoff teams except for New Jersey and Colorado, although a lot of those teams were somewhat competitive. The Sharks should come out with a winning record.

*One of the home games the Sharks play is actually in Sweden.

November
8 home, 6 road, 9,339.591 miles traveled

Fairly even in terms of home and road games, this is also the month that falls in the middle in terms of travel (which is kind of bad, seeing as they still travel almost 10,000 miles). This month also features a lot of non-playoff teams, and only two teams from the Eastern Conference. No travel to the east, though, which is a plus. Should also be a winning record.

December
5 home, 10 road, 12,822.08 miles traveled

They start off the month with an eastern road trip from hell – all playoff teams, including the two Eastern Conference finalists and Detroit. And then they come back to play Chicago. Joy. This month is not going to be a fun month, between playing Detroit once and Chicago twice, as well as a lot of early starts. Plus, it has the second most miles traveled. Should still get a winning record, but not overwhelmingly so as with the first two months.

January
7 home, 5 road, 5,670.62 miles traveled

Second shortest month in terms of travel, which is partially because of the All Star game at the end of the month. It marks the second return of Ron Wilson with the Toronto Maple Leafs coming to the Tank, but it unfortunately doesn’t look like the second return of Toskala as well. Unless he signs with a different team, of course. Will be the first time Brad Staubitz returns to San Jose, though!

February
3 home, 10 road, 12,270.96 miles traveled

This month will be the one where we’ll wonder if the HP Pavilion actually exists or if it’s just a mythical structure from our dreams. Third most miles traveled – and not by much – and the second Eastern Conference road trip, including a game agains the Boston Bruins which will begin at 10am (!!). This is the last month the Sharks will go to the Eastern time zone. Some very competitive teams during this month – I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the Sharks go .500 or even compile a losing record. I mean, I doubt it, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

March
10 home, 4 road, 6,372.589 miles traveled

This is the month where we go, “It’s no place like home,” and forget that you actually have to travel. There is an emphasis on the Pacific Division teams, although a few other Western Conference teams – and a lone Eastern Conference team – are sprinkled in there. The last time the Sharks will travel out of division is on the 14th, to Chicago. They should probably accrue a record above .500.

April
3 home, 2 road, 1,259.368 miles traveled

Easily the least travel the Sharks have, what with only playing 5 games and only within the division. With so few games – and at least three of them being against playoff teams – this month is hard to predict the record. Depends on whether or not the Ducks go into rebuilding mode, and whether Phoenix’s season last year was a fluke built off of many, many shootout wins (probably not, but something to consider).

Games of Note

October 8/9, against Columbus – The season opener and one in Stockholm, to boot. It’s fun to watch how other countries treat sports. As long as it’s not South Africa. Those vuvuzelas are making me crazy.

November 24, versus Chicago – The first rematch between the two Western Conference finalists, however different they may look. Should be a fun – if nerve-wracking – game.

December 2, at Ottawa – The first time Dany Heatley returns to Ottawa since the trade. I expect a lot of boos. A LOT of boos.

December 8, at Philadelphia – Always fun to go to Philly, what with them being the Prince of Wales Trophy winners and having Alternate Captain Elbows (who I have since admitted to not minding, particularly if he is playing a team that I don’t like). Also: BOOOOOOOOSH!

January 11, versus Toronto – I don’t know why, I just like games where the Sharks play the Leafs. Wait, I know why – the Sharks tend to win, and Leafs fans are hilarious.

February 5, at Boston – Only the third time Thornton has returned to Boston since The Trade (Sharks seem to have a lot of those, don’t they?), and it should be interesting. If Scott Nichol re-signs with the Sharks, I’d love to see him knock down Zdeno Chara again.

February 17, versus Washington – It’s always fun when the Capitals come to the Tank. Well, fun for the Sharks. Not so fun for the Capitals.

April 9, versus Phoenix – The final game of the season and Fan Appreciation Night at the Tank, it should be a good one.

Any game against any team Nabokov signs with – Evgeni Nabokov is awesome, and will be wearing a different sweater for the first time in his NHL career. While at the time of writing I have no idea which team Nabby will be with, I am definitely looking forward to applauding our quirky Russian/Kazakh goalie for his time with the Sharks.

In Conclusion

The Sharks will play back-to-back 14 times this year, up one from last season, and none of them will feature two home games in a row (although the two Sweden games will be in the same place, only one is considered a home game). The shortest distance between non-Sweden back-to-backs is 176.467 miles (between Edmonton and Calgary), and the longest is 802.73 miles (between Dallas and Chicago).

The All Star Game returns this year, so no two-week break. The All Star Game will be January 29-30 in Raleigh, North Carolina. The Sharks likely won’t have any starters (since Sharks fans tend to not start any massive fan campaigns), but will likely have at least two representatives, being one of the top teams in the league. I suspect Logan Couture will be tabbed for the Young Stars game, maybe even one of their goalies.

October, December, and February all suck in terms of travel, with at least 12,000 miles each month, and a total of 39,040.813 miles. Some teams don’t travel that much during the entire season.

There are four early afternoon games (two noon, two 2pm). But there are also two morning games – one at 10am in Boston, and one at 11am in Montreal. I am not looking forward to those two games.

The total miles traveled is a whopping 61,682.98 miles. That’s 14,727 miles more than last season. And last season they decreased their travel amount by around 10,000 miles than the season before, where they by far traveled the most miles. Rarely – if ever – does a team break 60K miles traveled in a season, and the Sharks are doing it. Sweden adds to that, as does their trips to Montreal and Boston, the two furthest teams from San Jose. Makes me question why the Sharks would be chosen for Europe in a year where they have to travel the furthest anyways, but whatever.

Rob Blake wasn’t quite the fan favorite that Jeremy Roenick was, but he was one of the Sharks’s best shut-down defensemen in his two years here, despite him reaching 40 and his propensity for hooking and interference penalties (hence his nickname, “Captain Hook”). He was a leader for the Sharks in every sense of the word.

Here is a live blog of his press conference.

11:02 – Brodie Brazil and Dan Rusanowski introduce the press conference. Devin Setoguchi, Evengi Nabokov, Joe Thornton, and Patrick Marleau are all here. So is Mike Ricci. Also lots of Rob’s non-Sharks friends. Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but I’m taking the presence of the three free agents (plus Joe) as a good sign for their re-signing prospects. But that’s just me over-analyzing.

11:03 – Greg Jamison just used the phrase “rain on our parade” to describe Blake’s effect on the Sharks throughout the years while he was with the Avalanche and Kings. Now I have that song stuck in my head.

11:04 – Blake would have been a farmer if not for a hockey player. “It would have been a great farm.”

11:05 – Blake has 10th-most goals, 3rd-most power play goals among defensemen of all time. It was such a great moment when he passed Doug Wilson on the all-time list. Sort of a full circle moment – the first Sharks captain’s place in history had been surpassed by the current Sharks captain.

11:05 – “It took us about 5 years to convince him to come here, and it was well worth the wait.” Doug Wilson showing that he always targets guys for a long time before he actually gets them.

11:06 – DW is crediting Blake’s wife for all of his success, since he achieved most accolades after he got married. “Probably should have married her earlier.”

11:08 – Awww, DW is talking about Blake’s father and their mutual respect for each other. Also, DW just offered Blake a job. Well, he offered Blake’s wife to take Blake off her hands by giving Blake a job.

11:09 – Dan R just gave me a bit of a scare – “Now, let me introduce the captain of the Sharks -” Wait, they’re introducing the new captain now?!? “-Rob Blake.” Ohhhh, phew.

11:10 – Rob Blake just said it, so it’s official. “I am announcing my retirement.” The guy barely got through that statement.

11:11 – Make a wish!

11:11 – Very emotional moment for a guy who doesn’t wear his emotions on his sleeves.

11:12 – Telephone time! First up: Todd McLellan.

11:12 – McLellan is disappointed that he’s retiring. Blake definitely could have gone another year as a top 4 defensemen, easy. But McLellan said that he’s definitely going to tap into Blake as a resouce.

11:14 – Bob Nicholson (CEO of Hockey Canada) called in. Blake won gold in Finland and Salt Lake City, and so Nicholson is thanking him for his dedication to his country and Team Canada.

11:16 – Joe Sakic! Taping Sakic’s message off of a TV probably wasn’t the best idea.

11:16 – “I’m proud that I can say that I had an opportunity to play with Rob Blake.” Also told Blake that he’s going to love retirement, haha.

11:18 – Rob Blake highlight package. Still not a fan of the whole “recording off the TV thing.”

11:19 – There’s Blake’s famous hip check.

11:19 – Haha, probably a good third of the highlights are him scoring against/checking the Sharks.

11:20 – At least he was able to complete his career with a Cup. I hate that Roenick was never able to.

11:21 – Rob Blake didn’t go into the year thinking he would retire, but as the season went on, he knew he was going to.

11:22 – On what he is going to do: “I don’t know, I have to confer with my wife on that.” HAHA!

11:23 – He definitely wants to stay in the game, probably in a mangement role.

11:23 – Haha, a reporter asked him about stories that his teammates would rather not share. “We’ve been taking over this lifeguard tower in front of our house for the last couple of weeks.”

11:24 – “One of the more proud moments I’ve had was named captain here in San Jose.”

11:25 – Asked who he thinks should be the next captain. Sidestepped the answer, said that there’s a leadership group in the locker room.

11:27 – There was an extreme feeling of disappointment after this season. “It’s not rewarding unless you can build on it next year.” Players also understand that they need to put more work in for the Cup.

11:27 – LA Times on the phone. Asked about if he regretted not winning the Cup with the Kings. Let me answer for him: DUH.

11:28 – Credits Larry Robinson as a big influence on his game.

11:28 – NHL.com guy on the phone. Since Blake has been in California during it’s major growth period, he was asked about hockey in the Golden State.

11:29 – Blake talks about how the amount of hockey here would be unheard of when he started playing. Credits the Junior Sharks and Junior Kings.

11:30 – Haha, Blake has already been signed up as an assistant coach for his sons’ teams. Not quite head coach, though.

11:31 – “I think that Rob Blake is one of the classiest players that have ever worn the Sharks jersey.”

11:31 – “…and when the Sharks win the Stanley Cup…” HELL YEAH!

11:32 – Press conference over. He’ll be on Chronicle Live later tonight after the Giants game.

11:33 – Final thoughts: a lot shorter than Roenick’s press conference, and less goofy than JR’s laugh-fest with Tkachuck talking about how he was either going to be on Dancing with the Stars or a judge on American Idol. But the professionalism suits Blake – I’d be a little shocked if he did joke around more than he did – and it was a nice ending to such a great career.

Thank you, Blake, for being such a great player and a great captain for the Sharks. Your influence on the game, between your booming slapshot and lethal hip checks, will be missed. I know Vlasic is already missing you.

Anyways, as I dove headfirst into Giants baseball (which is something like diving head first into the shallow end of the pool: torture), I realized there was something very familiar about this ballclub. The front office, the players, the history… It seemed like I had seen this before, only on ice and in a place where a “double double” isn’t a cheeseburger. All of a sudden, I got it.

The San Francisco Giants and the Toronto Maple Leafs are the same team. Look:

• Their offenses were composed of a single, 22 year old player who was expected to carry the team on his back. Not only that, but that player is less than average on defense. This idea, while initially thought to be completely sound, failed spectacularly.
   
• Neither Bengie Molina nor Vesa Toskala can block a small, roundish object unless it was directed right at their chests, even if it was a Barry Zito fastball or a Rob Davison clearing attempt from 180 feet away (which have about the same velocity).
   
• They have the worst of two trios: Bengie of the Molina brothers, and Toskala of the Warren Strelow-trained goalies.
   
• Brian Sabean and Brian Burke both have a penchant for gritty gamers. “Truculence” is Burke’s catch phrase, and if Sabean knew what that word meant he’d probably use it too.
   
• The Giants haven’t won the World Series since they left New York. The Maple Leafs haven’t won since the the leage expanded from 6 teams. Both teams haven’t won since before Chris Chelios could read (granted, growing up all he had were cave paintings, but still).
   
• Wayne Gretzky’s high stick and the Game 6 game ball both have the innate ability to send their respective fanbases into a blind rage with a passing mention.
   
• Good enough to miss out on a top pick (well, when it matters), but bad enough to miss that thing where you play longer than usual for that shiny thing.
   
• Lee Stempniak was traded to the Coyotes and started scoring at almost a goal per game pace. Fred Lewis was traded to the Blue Jays and is now on pace to set the record for most doubles. Similar comparisons can be made with Alexei Ponikarovsky and Kevin Frandsen.
   
• John Ferguson Jr and Brian Sabean have about the same mental capacity. Incidentally, so does a baboon, although I might be selling the baboon short.
   
• Both Bruce Bochy’s and Ron Wilson’s heads are huge. Although, Wilson’s is figeratively, while Bochy’s is freak-of-nature big.
   
• Both teams almost entirely consist of players that would be great complimentary players on a contending team. See: Kaberle, Tomas and Rowand, Aaron.
   
• The Maple Leafs make money for a pension fund. Giants give money to old players for their own pension funds.
   
• Brian Wilson’s nickname is “the Cardiac Kid.” Jonas Gustavsson needed heart surgery.
   
• Both teams have had long, heated rivalries with teams whose hometown fans have been known to riot after an inconsequential playoff win.
   
• The entire fate of the franchises rest on the shoulders of Buster Posey and Nazem Kadri. No pressure, guys.
   
• Aaron Rowand is a gritty defensive specialist that has a penchant for running into walls. Dion Phaneuf is a gritty defenseman that has a penchant for running into people.
   
• If it weren’t for Chicago teams, everybody would be focusing on their drought instead… Err, nevermind.
   

There was a mighty curse on the Blackhawks this year. No, not the one that they got from being from the same city as the Cubs, and not the much-hyped “Hossa Curse” (Marian Hossa has been to the Cup Finals three times in three years on three different teams… and only now has a Cup to show for it). It was the Curse of the Sharks – the 16 year long streak where any team matched up with the Sharks was doomed to fall short of the Cup.

Twelve times the Sharks had made the playoffs, and twelve times they or their opponents did not lift the Stanley Cup. It started with their miracle run of 1994, where they upset the Cup-favorite Wings in 7 games only to face the Maple Leafs (no, really!) and fall in 7 games (once again, really!). They then fell to the Vancouver Canucks in 5 games in the Western Conference Finals, and thus, a curse was born.

The teams that have fallen victim, in order: Toronto Maple Leafs (94), Detroit Red Wings (95), Dallas Stars (98), Colorado Avalanche (99), Dallas Stars (00), St. Louis Blues (01), Colorado Avalanche (02), Calgary Flames(04), Edmonton Oilers (06), Detroit Red Wings (07), Dallas Stars (08), and Anaheim Ducks (09). And yes, Sharks fans do not like the Dallas Stars or the Detroit Red Wings. We do, however, take solace in the fact that once they beat us, they won’t win the Cup. Or did.

What does this mean? Well, it means that the 6 or so hours I put into researching and writing this initial explanation of the Curse, and this examination of whether any other team had something similar happen to their opponents (SPOILER! it hasn’t) was all for naught. It could also, potentially, mean that the San Jose Sharks themselves will get over that darned playoff hump and finally bring a championship back to the Bay Area. We need one. I mean, when teams like the Golden State Warriors and Oakland Raiders have had the most recent post-season success after the Sharks, you know that it’s bad.

So, congrats to Chicago for flipping off all the curses and jinxes in the world, planning parades and painting Cup murals and acquiring Hossa, and winning the Cup. I may kind of hate your team, but the Cup is quite an accomplishment. Just, why oh why did Patrick freaking Kane have to score the overtime winner? Are you trying to kill me?

This season was a great season by all accounts. We finished first in the Western Conference in the regular season, setting records of the most third period regulation comebacks. We scored 6 goals in the third period against Nashville. We beat Calgary 9-1 (!!!) in a busting of schnides.

Even in the playoffs, where we are known for not quite performing up to expectations, we did well. We were so kick-ass, we decided to score 6 game winning goals against Chicago, instead of the four that you’re supposed to. We rose above the own-goals and decided, “To hell with it,” and beat Colorado. I know I was a bit despondent after Game 3 (I had a post-it on the door warning people to not talk to me about hockey of any sort), and that they came out and righted ship immediately was awesome.

Detroit… We slayed some serious demons there. Five games. Five games! And we won a game in the Joe! Honestly, as soon as they beat Detroit, I had declared this post-season a success. For years, Detroit has been in our heads. For years, we could not beat them, in the regular season or the playoffs. And then this year, we did it. And not in seven games, like in 1994. But in five. I’m proud of the boys for that. I don’t care what anyone else says – they showed heart in that series.

As for Chicago, well, it sucked, not going to lie. The first series I could actually watch on TV was the series where they went winless (I maintain that if I stayed in LA, they would have won, but whatever). The fact is, despite the sweep, the boys played great. A few bounces that go the other way, and Chicago might have been swept. There was no giving up by the Sharks; they were always pushing back, trying to get the win. That shorty by Marleau was a thing of beauty (also, something I totally called right before the PK). Unfortunately, they couldn’t, and here we are today.

Pavelski was the hero against Colorado, Thornton stepped up against Detroit, and Marleau was pretty much the entire offense against Chicago. Nabokov was a steady presence in goal, allowing a few softies but keeping out what needed to be kept out for the most part. Our big guns were our big guns (except for Heatley, who I suspect is still injured).

We ran into two goalies standing on their heads. We got past one, but fell to another. That’s how things work. I’m not going to bitch and complain about the lack of scoring or penalties called (during the game, sure, but afterwards what’s done is done). The Chicago Blackhawks were the better team. We knew this going into the series, and we know this coming out. Not by much, but still, better. They are the consensus pick for the Cup, well, except for those who picked Washington. It was not a surprise to lose to them; when we entered this series, and when I woke up this morning, I fully expected that the Sharks would not get past this round. Not that I didn’t hope the Sharks would manage to win it, but my expectations were set low. And I’m okay with that.

This was a great season. This off-season will suck, I’m not gonna lie. All the upcoming free agents – restricted and not – kicked ass in the playoffs. Pavelski was a man possessed. Setoguchi provided a good physical force. Marleau was over a point per game. Nabokov stood tall in net. Malhotra was great in the faceoff circle and on defense. Nichol was the little ball of energy we all know and love. Blake looked like he was 30, not 40. But choices will have to be made, unless all of them will play for less than $2M each, which I highly doubt. We’ll likely be losing one of Marleau or Nabokov, and my bet is on our quirky Russian.

But that’s for the future, for the rest of May and June and all the way up through October, when we’ll be starting in Sweden. Faces will stay, and faces will leave, but one thing will stay the same:

Go Sharks.

Also, I’d like to apologize to anyone that I offended or insulted in my last post. I do hate the Blackhawks (especially Dustin Byfuglien) and I hate their bandwagon fans. But lumping all of them in together with the good fans was not fair of me. I got a little (HAH!) emotional during the series, and wanted to vent. And I did. In doing so, however, this stopped being the quasi-professional blog and became more like a Livejournal, which I don’t think anybody wants. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I will try to refrain from writing something so emotional and pointed and posting it without sleeping on it first. To make up for it, I present you with a few GIFs that will hopefully cheer you up. Or make you more depressed, depends.

Douchebag.

Some will think that this hatred has come about from this Western Conference Finals series. Some will think that this post has stemmed from the recent Game 3 loss. They’d be partially right – my hatred for this “storied” franchise has been exacerbated by the series, and the post itself is because of the Game 3 loss. But I’ve hated – really hated – the Blackhawks for almost as long as I’ve been a die-hard Sharks fan. Honestly, I think I might like Dallas and Anaheim more than Chicago, and I’m a Sharks fan. That’s how much I hate the team.

You see, the Blackhawks used to be the team you could shit on. Remember how people keep ragging on the Coyotes about their attendance? Well, the Blackhawks were in the same boat. They had a 50% capacity for a few years there. Five zero. And the worst part was that they, you know, actually had a history of hockey in the area. They had no freaking excuse for attendance that low, and yet, there they were.

“Oh, but what about Bill Wirtz???” Yeah yeah yeah, I know all about your crappy owner. Welcome to most expansion teams’ situations, douchebag. And they don’t have the protection from relocating that you as an Original Six team does. So say all you want about how you were protesting against Wirtz’s reign as an owner, and boo all you want during the moment of silence for him (by the way, real classy of you). You know that your threats were hollow, and the lack of attendance really meant diddly squat.

The Blackhawks tanked their way to a good team, building up high draft pick after high draft pick until, hey! Good team! They walked out onto a fucking red carpet before the 2008-09, and all I could think was, “pretentious, much?” I mean, this was a team that didn’t even make the playoffs a year before, in a league where 53% of all teams do. I’d understand the Red Wings doing so, or hell, even the Penguins. The Blackhawks did jack shit to deserve the red carpet, outside of, you know, existing.

And then they got the Winter Classic. Really? I get Wrigley Field is historic and iconic, and the home to the only reason why more people don’t focus on the Blackhawks’ hilariously long drought (NINETEEN SIXTY ONE). But come on, why not Red Wings-Avalanche, if you’re using the Red Wings? That’s a much more interesting rivalry to pretty much everyone except Blackhawks fans, apparently, but since they couldn’t be bothered to show up prior to that season, they really don’t count.

Then the Blackhawks made the playoffs. Whoop-de-freaking-doo, the Sharks have been doing that every year since 2004. And then they made it to the Western Conference Finals, and all of a sudden the media was on their collective dick. They got nationally broadcast by both NBC and Versus; not only that, but the broadcasters actually compliment the team! (An experience I know that I have yet to enjoy as a Sharks fan).

So now the Blackhawks are winning, and the bandwagonners are coming out of the woodwork. “I’ve always been a Blackhawks fan!” “Really? Don’t you think Jeremy Roenick is awesome?” “…Who’s he?” Honestly, if you don’t know who JR is, you are not a Blackhawks fan. That’s like being an Oilers fan and not knowing who Gretzky is, a Penguins fan ignorant of Lemieux, a Red Wings fan in the dark about Yzerman, an Avalanche fan not knowing Sakic. If you don’t know who Roenick is, you are not a Blackhawks fan. Fact.

I’ve met Blackhawks fans who don’t know who Toews, Kane, Keith, or Niemi are. How? How can that be? How can you call yourself a fan of a team if you don’t even know any of the players? I mean, I barely know football – I doubt I can even name all the teams – but even I still know a few of the players on the 49ers, a team I like in a “between Raiders and Niners which teams sucks less” way. How can someone call themselves a fan – a fan – of a team and not know any of the players? This infuriates me.

Because of this early success, Blackhawks fans are some of the most entitled, ignorant fans I have ever had the displeasure of coming across. They completely ignore their past, completely overlook their own team’s struggles and lack of championships and feel that it is their right to taunt other teams on the lack of success. They act like because they’ve had two good seasons, they deserve a Stanley Cup. They feel like since they are finally filling their arena again, they have a right to pick on struggling nontraditional market teams. For a long time the Red Wings have had the most annoying fans, but at least that was backed up by championships. What do the Blackhawks have? A central division banner? The red carpet? Puh-lease.

I know there are good fans out there that showed up during the lean times, that aren’t taking this success for granted, I know that. But you have been completely drowned out by your douchebag compatriots.

Also, Patrick Kane is possibly the biggest douchebag I’ve ever seen. He beat up a cab driver over twenty cents? Really?! There’s more money in my couch than that. His shirtless in the limo pictures from Vancouver out-douched the entire cast of Jersey Shore, impossible as that seems. His playoff mullet makes me want to punch him in the face. Hated him on the Blackhawks, hated him on Team USA. Dustin Byfuglien (Bufflin for all those Blackhawks “fans”) is another douche, but not quite on the same level. He’s like a homeless man’s Holmstrum.

I hate the Chicago Blackhawks. My team has no rivalry with them, no playoff history with them outside of this year, and yet they’re still probably my first or second most hated team. I don’t see any redeeming quality about them. Just a very, very hateable team that I’ll look forward to booing and trash-talking for years to come.

Go die in a fire, Chicago. Wait, too soon?

If you haven’t noticed (although, it’s kind of hard to miss), I’ve been sort of MIA the past month. Now, there are plenty of reasons for that – the up and down, ulcer-inducing roller coaster that is the playoffs, the papers I’ve had to write for my classes, studying for finals, all that jazz. But the biggest reason why I haven’t updated is why I’m posting today – a little project I call Pokecheck.

You see, I’m in AHIS001 here at USC, which is a web design course for non-majors. For our final project, we had to make a functional 15+ page site using the concepts that we’ve learned during the course of the semester. I’ve been wanting to create a guide to hockey for a while now, but the task seemed a bit daunting for something that I would do in my free time (it ended up being 43 pages). So I decided to not do the photo gallery-type site that most of my classmates are doing, and instead make something functional and worth the time that I put in.

And thus, Pokecheck was born. It’s a guide to hockey with a major emphasis on the NHL, but not overlooking the other leagues in North America and around the world. I’m not going to pretend it’s a be-all, end-all guide to hockey – it’s not. I can already think of a dozen things that I want to add to it, like the playoff beard suggestion @dlow_twit suggested to me over twitter, or a larger explanation of college hockey. And that will come soon (after finals, of course).

You can get to it either by clicking on the banner, or going to the link that I’ve put up on the top of every page here at Fools and Sages. Comments or suggestions are welcome – especially for the NHL teams section. I found out just how much I didn’t know about other teams by trying to write about all of them, haha.

So, check it out, enjoy, and hopefully you learn something.