Okay, so it’s only Christmas for around 10 more minutes, so sue me. Anyways, I decided to try and make a song parody and record my efforts for all to enjoy. And then I realized that my singing would probably bring the opposite of enjoyment, so I didn’t record it or make a video. But if you want to, go ahead! While the tune is a Christmas standard, the lyrics are not, so who cares if Christmas is over in 7 minutes.

You know Thornton and Seto
And Boyle and Heatley
Murray and Vlasic
And Huskins and Nabby
But do you recall
The most beastly player of all?

Marleau the hockey player
(player)
Scored a lot of pretty goals
(like shorthanded)
Whenever he’d try to score
(to score)
He would find the goalie’s holes
(like Tiger Woods)
All of the other teams’ fans
(teams’ fans)
Accused him of choking hard
(like a necklace)
They never held poor Marleau
(Marleau)
In a very high regard
(like Joe Thornton)

Then one sunny New Years Eve
Stevie came to say
(Yes yes yes)
Patty with your skills so tight
Won’t you join my team tonight?
Then Canadians loved him
(loved him)
And they shouted with a fuss
(Hoo-ah!)
Marleau the hockey player
(player)
You will bring the gold to us!
(like Joe Sakic!)

But if you want official Sharks Christmas awesomeness, click here. Featuring Slappy along with Rob Blake, Patrick Marleau, Dany Heatley, and Joe Thornton, it is simply hilarious. “That dummy’s brilliant.” Or, if you want to go vintage, there’s also the following video:

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!