When, in the course of television broadcasting, it becomes necessary for the target audience of 18-49 year olds to alter their television habits which have connected them with a network, and to assume among the powers of the remote, the wide array of other networks that their cable or satellite subscription entitles them, a decent respect to the network requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the boycott.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all time zones are created equal, that people are endowed by their viewership with certain unalienable rights, that among these are live, quality, and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, Neilson ratings are instituted among networks, deriving their just powers from the television viewers. That whenever any network becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the viewers to complain or boycott it, and to switch to a different network, giving them the viewers and therefore the advertising revenue. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that networks long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience has shown that viewers are more disposed to suffer, while bad programming is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, making the viewer pissed off, it is their right, it is their duty, to boycott such network, and to watch illegal streams and torrents of their programming. Such has been the patient sufferance of these viewers; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former viewing habits. The history of NBC is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over their viewers. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

They have refused to air the Olympic Opening Ceremonies live on the West Coast, despite the host city being in the same timezone, instead tape delaying the Ceremonies for three hours and allowing Them to be already posted on Youtube before those in the Pacific time zone could watch Them on television.

They have refused to air the Olympic events live on the West Coast, a practice that has not allowed the results of the events be a surprise.

They have aired the Michael Phelps races three hours later for West Coast back in 2008, despite the tape-delay making the races begin at 11pm or midnight instead of 8-9pm, which is a much more reasonable hour as well as being live.

They have ignored the effects of the internet on tape-delayed programming.

They have chosen to air the most anticipated of the men’s hockey group play games and one of the most anticipated non-medal event in the Olympics period, the game between Canada and the United States, on MSNBC and ice dancing on NBC.

They have repeatedly aired the footage of a man dying with little to no warning to the viewers.

They have chosen to have Boston and Philadelphia play each other in the Winter Classic, two teams that have little rivalry history, and who would be much better suited to play other teams.

They have decided to deny the Washington Captials in the Winter Classic, citing that the team would not attract good enough ratings, despite having one of the league’s most dynamic stars in Alexander Ovechkin.

They have refused to broadcast any Western Conference team other than the Detroit Red Wings or Chicago Blackhawks despite the West being an overall better conference over the past few seasons.

They have removed original scripted programming to install a fourth talk show in their nightly lineup.

They have broken Conan O’Brien’s contract just seven months into its term in order to reinstall Jay Leno to the Tonight Show despite Mr. Leno’s new talk show’s dismal ratings.

They have removed all of Mr. O’Brien’s Late Night video clips from Hulu and various other internet video websites.

They have strictly controlled all posting of their content on the internet and have not allowed a vast majority of it to be available to a viewer under any circumstances.

In every stage of these errors we have petitioned for change: our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated mistakes. A network, whose identity is thus marked by every act which may define a wildly incompetent organization, is unfit to be a top network.

Nor have we been wanting in attention to our fellow east coast viewers. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by the network to extend their sub-par and tape-delayed productions onto us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of their exclusive contracts with events and programs. We have appealed to their logic and sense of fairness, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common network availability to disavow these usurpations, which would inevitably interrupt our favorite programs. They too have been deaf to the voice of fairness and common sense. We must, therefore, refuse to watch their network.

We, therefore, the viewers of the United States of America, from our computers, appealing to the common sense of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the name, and by the authority of the good people suffering through the programming decisions, solemly publish and declare, that these united viewers are, and of right ought to not suffer through inept decisions; that they are no longer confined to viewing the network for certain programming, and that all exclusive Olympic and NHL contracts between them and the governing bodies, ought to be totally dissolved. And for the support of this declaration we mutually pledge to each other our opinions, our rights, and our sacred honor.