This season was a great season by all accounts. We finished first in the Western Conference in the regular season, setting records of the most third period regulation comebacks. We scored 6 goals in the third period against Nashville. We beat Calgary 9-1 (!!!) in a busting of schnides.

Even in the playoffs, where we are known for not quite performing up to expectations, we did well. We were so kick-ass, we decided to score 6 game winning goals against Chicago, instead of the four that you’re supposed to. We rose above the own-goals and decided, “To hell with it,” and beat Colorado. I know I was a bit despondent after Game 3 (I had a post-it on the door warning people to not talk to me about hockey of any sort), and that they came out and righted ship immediately was awesome.

Detroit… We slayed some serious demons there. Five games. Five games! And we won a game in the Joe! Honestly, as soon as they beat Detroit, I had declared this post-season a success. For years, Detroit has been in our heads. For years, we could not beat them, in the regular season or the playoffs. And then this year, we did it. And not in seven games, like in 1994. But in five. I’m proud of the boys for that. I don’t care what anyone else says – they showed heart in that series.

As for Chicago, well, it sucked, not going to lie. The first series I could actually watch on TV was the series where they went winless (I maintain that if I stayed in LA, they would have won, but whatever). The fact is, despite the sweep, the boys played great. A few bounces that go the other way, and Chicago might have been swept. There was no giving up by the Sharks; they were always pushing back, trying to get the win. That shorty by Marleau was a thing of beauty (also, something I totally called right before the PK). Unfortunately, they couldn’t, and here we are today.

Pavelski was the hero against Colorado, Thornton stepped up against Detroit, and Marleau was pretty much the entire offense against Chicago. Nabokov was a steady presence in goal, allowing a few softies but keeping out what needed to be kept out for the most part. Our big guns were our big guns (except for Heatley, who I suspect is still injured).

We ran into two goalies standing on their heads. We got past one, but fell to another. That’s how things work. I’m not going to bitch and complain about the lack of scoring or penalties called (during the game, sure, but afterwards what’s done is done). The Chicago Blackhawks were the better team. We knew this going into the series, and we know this coming out. Not by much, but still, better. They are the consensus pick for the Cup, well, except for those who picked Washington. It was not a surprise to lose to them; when we entered this series, and when I woke up this morning, I fully expected that the Sharks would not get past this round. Not that I didn’t hope the Sharks would manage to win it, but my expectations were set low. And I’m okay with that.

This was a great season. This off-season will suck, I’m not gonna lie. All the upcoming free agents – restricted and not – kicked ass in the playoffs. Pavelski was a man possessed. Setoguchi provided a good physical force. Marleau was over a point per game. Nabokov stood tall in net. Malhotra was great in the faceoff circle and on defense. Nichol was the little ball of energy we all know and love. Blake looked like he was 30, not 40. But choices will have to be made, unless all of them will play for less than $2M each, which I highly doubt. We’ll likely be losing one of Marleau or Nabokov, and my bet is on our quirky Russian.

But that’s for the future, for the rest of May and June and all the way up through October, when we’ll be starting in Sweden. Faces will stay, and faces will leave, but one thing will stay the same:

Go Sharks.

Also, I’d like to apologize to anyone that I offended or insulted in my last post. I do hate the Blackhawks (especially Dustin Byfuglien) and I hate their bandwagon fans. But lumping all of them in together with the good fans was not fair of me. I got a little (HAH!) emotional during the series, and wanted to vent. And I did. In doing so, however, this stopped being the quasi-professional blog and became more like a Livejournal, which I don’t think anybody wants. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I will try to refrain from writing something so emotional and pointed and posting it without sleeping on it first. To make up for it, I present you with a few GIFs that will hopefully cheer you up. Or make you more depressed, depends.

Hey, did you hear? The San Jose Globetrotters are in town! Well, in town assuming you live in San Jose or some smallish town nearby, which I am for the sake of convience. Anyways, the San Jose Globetrotters, with the starting lineup of Joe “Pass first, ask questions later” Thornton, Patrick “Walt Whitman” Marleau, Dany “Dany F***ing Heatley” Heatley, Dan “Helmet-adjusting eyebrows” Boyle, and Rob “Please forget that I was ever in Love Guru” Blake. Nicknames may or may not be real.

This lineup has accounted for a scoring line of 52-86-138 through 31 games, which is even more impressive when you consider that Blake currently has fewer points than Jed Ortmeyer. At least he has more points than the offensive juggernaut that is Douglas Murray, who has 6. Okay, just one more point. But I digress.

Todd McLellan has used the word “Globetrotters” in describing his first power play unit, saying that they are “looking good and doing nothing.” [link] Now, I don’t know about you, but I was raised on healthy doses of Scooby-Doo and Boomerang. So I know that if there is a mystery to be solved or some bad guy doing something wrong, the Globetrotters will always prevail through a nice game of basketball. Didn’t matter what the situation was, basketball is always the answer. I guess it’s like the inverse of violence, or something.

That’s why I’m confused at the negative connotation of McLellan’s use of Globetrotters. I mean, the Globetrotters always prevail! At least, they always did in the cartoons. And, following that line of logic, the first power play unit also solves mysteries in their spare time. And they always sleep with basketballs (hockey pucks?) under their bed (which they share).

But if you omit the cartoons, since some people won’t admit that to be a legitimate source, my confusion still stands. The Globetrotters have lost 345 games, total. The Sharks? 580 games. And the Globetrotters have been around since 1926. Their winning percentage is cited to be 98.5% (the highest in sports), which puts their record around 22,655-345 all-time. Um, I definitely wouldn’t mind my team having that record. Assuming that same winning percentage follows the team into the playoffs, that is.

So I honestly don’t see why “Globetrotters” is so bad… Wait, what are you typing? What videos are you looking up on youtube? Is that the Chicago game? Or the St. Louis game? Don’t show me that! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! /curls into a fetal position

I see your point.

The first powerplay unit is an impressive show of skill, and pretty much translates into hockey’s answer to the Harlem Globetrotters. I mean, you watch them, and you are just amazed with what they can do. They cycle around, constantly moving, and pass between defenders like they’re not even there. Whoever is manning the point keeps the puck in more often than not (it’s not always Blake and Boyle because of the cycling of the players). It’s an impressive display of hockey skill. But you know what would be even more impressive? Scoring goals. Also impressive? Not allowing the other team’s penalty kill to score goals. No, wait – that’s what’s supposed to happen when you’re on a powerplay.

So no matter how awesome the Globetrotters were in their Hanna-Barbera cartoons or by their impressive record, the Sharks version is not. Well, if you want to win hockey games, that is. And since that is the ultimate goal, the Sharks first powerplay unit should stop emulating the basketball players and start keeping things simple and getting the puck to the net.

Hmmm… Joe Pavelski, Joe Thornton, and Rob Blake as the only three Sharks featured, all with the A on their respective chests. Joe Thornton featured isn’t surprising, since he’s pretty much the only guy besides Dan Boyle that the Eastern Conference knows. But Blake and Pavelski? While they might be heard of, Blake especially, they aren’t the “big names” on the team like guys like Boyle, Marleau, and Nabokov.

Now, its not so much a surprise to see Thornton with the A, since he’s never not had it, but Pavelski and Blake are surprising. I mean, they didn’t have the As outside of a few games during the season when the regular/replacement As were out, so picking those two pictures out of the hundreds and maybe even thousands of other, similar pictures without any letters is interesting.

Is this an indication of who will be the leadership group for this season? It really doesn’t make sense otherwise. Sure, Wilson and McLellan said that the letters will be determined during training camp, but all three of these guys have been tabbed as likely captains/alternates by Sharks fans. Blake because of the whole veteran thing, Thornton because he’s the best player on the team, and Pavelski because he’s an all-around awesome player (see my post on why he deserves to make the Olympic team). Hell, most people believe that Pavelski will be the captain sometime in the next few years, why not now?

Perhaps its even an indication that instead of having a captain, the Sharks will go into the season with three alternates, like shown in the picture.

Of course, I am just bullshitting this entire analysis, as I found it on a picture in a tucked-away part of the site that really isn’t technically part of the whole “sharks.nhl.com” site (it directs to a third party site that I assume is for ticket selling). This could just be some wild coincidence or the graphic designer having fun with hockey-starved fans like me who hope to find anything hockey-related to analyze. I don’t know. But this is interesting, and I am putting way too much thought into this.

Jamie McGinn, aka the only call-up that did decently last year

This summer, there hasn’t been really anything blockbuster going down – the closest thing was Ehrhoff and Lukowich being traded away. That’s it. However, there have been a lot of small, depth moves done that really strengthens the organization. Especially with the absence of high draft picks and prospects in the recent years.

While the Sharks failed to land the famed “Monster” Jonas Gustavsson, they nabbed another tall goalie in Henrik Karlsson to just add on to the already strong goalie depth the organization has. It is only a one year deal, but Karlsson will be an RFA at the end of it, so the Sharks will continue to have his rights. So, if Karlsson chooses not to re-sign with the Sharks, they will get compensatory draft picks. Not a bad pick-up.

The move that signed Jed Ortmeyer, Dwight Helminien, as well as two others was an early move in the scheme of things, but it helped bolster the depth down at the Worcester level as a bunch of under-performing prospects were let go. Ortmeyer especially was a good move, as he could potentially challenge for a spot on the NHL roster, and is signed near league minimum. He was once tabbed as the future captain of the Rangers if only he had a bit more scoring pop, and is great on the PK (considered by some the only reason he ever played at the NHL level). Same thing with the recent invite of Dan Hinote to training camp – a veteran known as a good locker room player who is also great on the penalty kill. The cost to the organization from those players will be minimum, and yet the Sharks now have some great defensive depth just in case the injury bug strikes. Even Scott Nichol, the agitator signed earlier this summer, is proficient on the PK.

There were also a bunch of college and minor free agent signings, one of the most prolific being that of Benn Ferriero, a former draft pick of Phoenix who failed to sign with them and has now joined the Sharks. He has hovered around a little less than a PPG pace while at Boston College, going 64-75-139 in 165 games. So not extremely impressive, but still a good pick-up for the Sharks.

But to get back to the whole PK thing – that’s what I’m most excited about. Last year, the Sharks had three main PK units – Marleau-Grier, Pavelski-Michalek, and Goc-Plihal. Unfortunately, the injury bug struck and there were units that had Thornton and Cheechoo playing the PK at one point. While they managed to kill the penalty, those two aren’t exactly known for their defensive prowess, and thus the healthy regular PKers had to take on a larger role. With the addition of Ortmeyer, Nichol, and potentially Hinote, as well as the return of Mitchell and a possible expanded role of McGinn, all of a sudden there is less of a reliance on the big-minute forwards and the time in high pressure situations is more spread out.

And as there is more competition in camp for the lower level spots – as Ortmeyer, Hinote, Staubitz, and even McGinn aren’t guaranteed spots (although McGinn is practically a shoe-in), a lot of rookies as well as those aforementioned veterans have to really play well to earn their spot, and then continue to play well or else they might get sent down (like Setoguchi competing for that first line spot). Last year, the roster was pretty much set with all the veterans signed to one-way, multi-year deals and little cap space to maneuver. This year, there are two spots on defense open, as well as three spots on offense, if the Sharks choose to fill out the full 23 man roster. Hell, even the choice of Greiss as backup isn’t set in stone, although it is highly unlikely.

Basically, this summer did not deliver any major moves, but was quietly a good off-season for San Jose.

Really, what else can be said? Jeremy Roenick is one of those players who you never see retiring, a player that has ingrained himself so much into the league that it will be weird without his name being mentioned because of one reason or another. He was in the league since before I was born, before my favorite team even existed. His outspoken personality and willingness to run over anyone in his path has made him one of the bigger characters in the league, as well as one of the highest-scoring.

JR scores a goal in OT to send the Flyers to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2004

In his 20 year career, Jeremy Roenick made an impact that few players ever have. He became an icon in Chicago, beloved in Philly, and resurrected his career in San Jose. He had two consecutive 50 goal seasons, and three consecutive 100 point seasons. His career scoring line is 513-703-1216, one that is matched by few players. He was voted as one of the greatest video game stars ever for his role in NHL 94, and was famously name-checked by Vince Vaughn playing that very game in Swingers: “It’s not so much me as it’s Roenick. He’s good.”

Despite Hall-worthy stats, what Roenick is most famous for his big mouth. He has never had that mental block, always stating what was on his mind no matter what it was. However, it wasn’t malicious or self-promoting like what Sean Avery might do; it was just Roenick saying what he thought. Of course, the most memorable happens to be when the retaliation is the funnier bit:

“I liked Patrick’s quote, he would have stopped me. I wanted to know where he was in Game 3. He was probably getting his jock out of the rafters of the United Center.”
“I can’t really hear what Jeremy says, because I’ve got my two Stanley Cup rings plugged in my ears.”

There was probably only one thing JR liked more than talking, and that was dancing. He dances with Luc Robataille, on top of tables, and likely even Dancing with the Stars (news came out yesterday that he was in talks with the show). “You Should Be Dancing,” by the Bee Gees, was the most often culprit, with three separate Youtube videos – here, here, and (the most famous) below:

The iconic numbers he wears – 27 with the Blackhawks and Sharks, 97 with the Flyers, Kings, and Coyotes – also helps define him. 97 is Roenick’s number; only two other players in the history of the NHL have worn it. In international competitions (and All Star Games), Joe Thornton wears number 97 out of respect for Roenick because his normal number 19 is usually taken. In Chicago, “Roenick 27″ is almost as recognizable as “Jordan 23,” despite the lack of three-peats and the like.

No Kings jersey pictured because there wasn’t an image of one

Of course, you can’t mention Roenick without his dark moments, and he did have quite a few. The entire lockout, for one, alienated him from the fans after he attempted to get the Flyers to pay him due to a concussion, as well as his disparaging remarks towards the fans. His completely lackluster play as part of the Kings and his second stint with the Coyotes caused a lot of fans to dislike him. Once, during a game he was scratched, instead of staying in the arena like he was supposed to, he watched the game in a local bar.

Resurrection with the Sharks

After two sub-par years with Los Angeles and Phoenix, Roenick was ready to hang his skates up, going as far as texting a Philly reporter, “I’m retiring; is that still news?” But after a round of golf with his old teammate and current Sharks GM Doug Wilson, he was convinced to come back for one more year, with Wilson saying that JR “deserved better.”

In that 2007-2008 season, JR reinvented himself into a third/fourth line grinder and a leader in the locker room, with nary a controversial comment. He scored 14 goals, with an amazing 10 of them being game winners – good for second in the league after the Rocket Richard winning Ovechkin. He was clutch in the shootouts, and provided a veteran presence in what was the youngest team in the NHL. He had a franchise-record Game 7 in the Calgary series, scoring two goals and two assists. Oh, and he scored his 500th goal, becoming the third American and 40th overall to do so.

This past year, JR had some trouble with injuries. The first time he was injured, it was off a Brett Festerling hit in the December 11 game against Anaheim, in the second period. His shoulder was dislocated, but there was no call on the play. In true JR style, he went back into the locker room, got his shoulder popped back into its socket, and didn’t miss a shift the next period. He was out for the next 28 games. I still point to the game right after that one as the point where the Sharks stopped playing the way they did during the early part of the season, where they had the record-setting pace and simply could not lose.

I was lucky enough to attend the game he returned from his first injury; February 21, a day game against the Atlanta Thrashers. On his very first shift he went out to take a faceoff, and the Tank erupted into applause. And I don’t mean a smattering of applause akin to the opera’s reception in Citizen Kane, but full-on cheering that could be mistaken for a goal or a great fight. The Sharks had a lot of players injured for long periods of time this past season, and none of them got quite the same reception as JR did.

Later in that game, Roenick had a 2-on-1 break with Cheechoo, and dished an amazing pass to Cheech for a goal to extend the Sharks’ lead. Everyone stood and cheered like any other goal. After the crowd was seated, the PA announced that it was his 700th assist. The applause grew louder and louder, until everyone was on their feet, giving him a standing ovation. I’ve been to playoff games, games with OT goals and amazing comebacks, and I have to say that moment ranked up with the loudest I’ve heard the Tank get. JR did that.

What puts the cherry on top was Roenick’s comments after the game; he stated that there was no better player to get the goal for his 700th assist than Cheechoo, especially since Cheechoo had been having trouble scoring.

A younger, less-scarred Roenick

I was also fortunate enough to attend Roenick’s second-to-last game in Chicago, a November 16 game I rationalized traveling to because I needed to go on college visits. Taking my seats adorned in my blank teal Sharks jersey, I looked around, amazed at the number of Roenick jerseys. The couple we sat behind was actually adorned in the iconic number 27 sweaters. And watching the Sharks warm up, a small kid wearing a Sharks jersey walked up to the glass near a photo hole. JR went right towards the kid and started talking to him, even playing a game of thumb war through the photo hole. He ended up scoring his first goal of the season in that game.

He established himself as a fan favorite in San Jose, much like he did in his other stops around the league, as a guy who would contribute to the locker room and on the ice, and as a guy who definitely knows how to play towards the crowd.

It breaks my heart as a Sharks fan that the Sharks were unable to win the Cup; not just for the team, but for JR. There is no doubt in my mind that he will go down as one of the greatest players to never win a Stanley Cup, and that is a shame. Here’s to hoping that he will sign on as a front office guy with a team and get his name on the Cup that way; he has earned it. Of course, that’s if ESPN or any one of the dozens of CSN broadcast teams snatch him up first.

Here’s to Jeremy Roenick, one of the all-time greats in both skill and personality. His presence on the ice will be missed by future generations who won’t ever experience what it was like with JR on the loose.

Its that time again, the time where the citizens of each country get their patriotism ready for the supreme contest of athletic superiority. That’s right, the Olympics are coming.

About a month ago, the US Hockey Camp was announced, listing three goalies, twelve defensemen, and nineteen forwards. Its largely a young team, as it seems that the high-end US talent skipped a generation from the days Jeremy Roenick and Mike Modano dominated the scene to now, when Zach Parise (25) and Patrick Kane (21) are the big names for the United States.

Because of the generation gap and lack of high-end talent with Olympic experience, there are very few sure things to make the Olympic team, especially among forwards. That allows the under-the-radar players to get a chance to get looked at, younger players that may have not impacted the league on the same level as any player for Team Canada (which is absolutely STACKED), but who are responsible in all three zones and can shut the other team down. Players like Joe Pavelski.

But why does the Olympic team need Joe Pavelski? Well, he’s the kind of player that gives it his all on every shift, whether his team is up 7-1, protecting a 2-1 lead, or trailing in the third. It doesn’t matter, he’ll be out there working his butt off.

That never-say-die attitude is what got him into the league in the first place; as a seventh round draft pick in 2003, there was little hope of him ever reaching the NHL, much less earning a position on the second line. His skating was the main concern – while he was described as having “excellent awareness, great hands for scoring goals and creating plays, and a dedication to hustle and effort in all three zones,” his speed and skating ability (or lack thereof) was what dropped his value in the draft. He worked on it through juniors and his college years, and he eventually made it to the NHL in the November of 2006.

In the Olympics, teams tend to be completely stacked, so while Joe Pavelski would normally be a second line center on an NHL team, he’ll likely be relegated to third/fourth line duties. And this is why he’s needed – he has great hands and can dish passes, but isn’t afraid of the dirty work. On the Sharks, he’s often the one that goes and digs pucks out of the corners, or plants himself in front of the goalie to try and screen for shots, despite being the smallest Shark (at least when Ryan Vesce isn’t called up).

The lower lines will also need to be used to match up against the top lines of the other teams – like Team Canada’s or Team Russia’s – and be able to shut them down. No problem for Pavelski; according to James Mirtle’s ranking, based on EVGAA and SHGAA as well as the quality of competition, Joe Pavelski is ranked sixth overall in the NHL. That’s above guys with heralded defensive play like Mike Richards, Ryan Kesler, Pavel Datsyuk, and Henrik Zetterberg. Pavelski was one of the top penalty killers for San Jose this past season, and was able to score a few shorthanded goals as well.

Continuing the talk of special teams, Pavelski is also adept on the power play. But, not only does he fill a normal forward role, but he was also used as a pointman by San Jose this past season whenever Boyle or Blake was out. With the lack of offensive defensemen being invited to the camp, Pavelski will give Team USA a more dynamic powerplay with his threat from the point, as well as the ability to be defensively responsible if need be.

The ability to take and win faceoffs is one of the most important skills of the game – a faceoff win usually means that your team has control of the puck and cannot be scored upon. Winning a defensive zone faceoff after an icing is huge. Winning a faceoff in the offensive zone could mean that you could score a goal within the next few seconds. Basically, teams want good faceoff men.

And Joe Pavelski is a good faceoff man; he has the eighth best faceoff winning percentage in the NHL at 56.3%, winning 717 out of 1274 faceoffs taken. So if he is thrown out to take an important faceoff, he will have better than a 50-50 chance of winning it, which is crucial.

Besides all that, he is a leader. I know, I know – there’s all this “leader” and “heart” talk thrown around, but consider this: when guys on the Sharks started dropping like flies when the injury bug hit after the All Star Game, 24 year old Pavelski was chosen as one of the “A”s. At the State of the Sharks in May, he took responsibility and stated that he along with the rest of the second line needed to – and failed – to step up in the series against the Ducks. Many Sharks fan tag him as the future captian, rightly or wrongly.

Plus, Pavelski has a history of coming up with goals when it matters. There’s this goal in the World Championships bronze medal game against Sweden where Pavelski literally creates the goal himself (he goes coast to coast and splits the Swedish D). Then, of course, there’s this one:

Sorry, its my duty as a Sharks fan to post that video as often as I can. But really, Pavelski is not just a defensive grinder, but one who can score – he got a line of 25-34-59 this past year, which is fairly respectable.

To recap, Pavelski is the sixth best defensive forward in the NHL, the eighth best at faceoffs in the NHL, is a fixture on both the PP and PK, can grind it out and score, and will be the hardest-working player on the ice night in and night out. Pretty impressive for a guy who is often an afterthought for those drafting their own US Olympic teams.

Pavelski certainly isn’t the biggest name forward to be invited to the camp, nor is he the flashiest. But he has a solid game that will raise the skill and defensive prowress of the bottom lines, and help Team USA compete against the hockey superpowers of Canada and Russia, as well as the skilled Swedish, Czech, and Finnish teams. He will help contribute to a team that is not necessarily the most skilled in the Olympic Games, but one that can out-grit any team and potentially medal.

As I consider myself somewhat of a television connoisseur, here is a list I have compiled of shows that I have found to replace my daily dose of hockey. Only in terms of time, of course, since nothing can really replace the awesomeness.

Regular Season Show You Need to Get Caught Up On
Chuck
I started watching the show after I saw the previews for it a few years ago. It was like, “Hey, nerd guy somehow becomes a spy. That’s pretty sweet.” In the first episode, there was a completely awesome car chase involving a Prius. In the second, a car exploded. Oh, and that’s all wrapped up in witty comedic banter and enough workplace shenanigans to put The Office to shame. The show got a little heavy on the mythology in the second half of the second season, but other than that its rather easy to watch it as you like. “Chuck Versus the Alma Mater” and “Chuck Versus the Colonel” are two of my favorite episodes, but I suggest not watching the latter until you’ve really gotten into the show.

Its Canadian, Eh
The Listener
As an import from Canada, the show is about a paramedic who can read minds, and so he suddenly decides to become Mr. Detective. Obviously, like most shows that deal with secret identities/hidden abilities, he raises suspicions from people. It has a fairly basic criminal mystery set-up that you can find in literally any crime-based show, but that’s not the draw. The thing is, the lead guy (Craig Olejnik) is insanely hot. Most of the time, I’m not even paying attention to the story, instead just admiring his face or the way he looks in his uniform.

Reality TV
So You Think You Can Dance
I know, I know. Its reality tv, a genre that has been over-done this past decade and needs to die. Except, this show is different. The reality series is currently in its fifth season, and has only gotten better as the years have gone by. It draws its inspiration from American Idol, in that talented individuals compete for America’s vote. The thing is, all the dancers that make it into the top twenty are insanely talented and most have had years of training. Watching them attempt styles outside of their own is a treat, especially when they end up like the Table Dance, Bleeding Love, and so on. Oh, and my pick for the winner this season? Evan Kasprzak, a Fred Astaire-like dancer. Yeah, that good.

At Least There’s Hockey
Bones
Okay, okay, I admit – this CSI-like series isn’t exactly the first place I’d look for my hockey fix, but its there. The male lead (Seeley Booth) loves hockey; he has several hockey photos in his office, had a hallucination of playing with Luc Robataille, plays in his rec league, and owns a framed (and presumably signed) Mario Lemieux jersey. And then besides that, it has a great will-they-won’t-they romance dynamic between the two leads while they solve mysteries. Well-written, with a great group of supporting characters, and the plot doesn’t get too murder-heavy for those who can’t take it. “Fire in the Ice” is the most hockey-heavy episode there is, as the entire episode revolves around hockey, but all the episodes are good, albeit in a less-hockey manner.

Hey I Saw This on YouTube!
Whose Line Is It Anyways?
This brilliantly simple show was canceled back in 2003 because of low ratings (most likely due to being up against the insanely popular Friends), and not because it got any less funny. I’d actually rate the show as the funniest thing I’ve seen, hands-down. The basis of the show is that it gets four comedians (Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Wayne Brady, and some guest comedian) to act out things based on suggestions written on cards. So, yeah, its improv. Amazing improv, at that. Oh, and the reason for the category? You can find virtually any game played on the show on youtube. PLUS, you can also find hilarious (if NSFW) outtakes that include Bill Cosby and Hitler being roommates for a sitcom. Yes, totally serious about that.

I do that too (sorry Mike Grier, but you’re gonna have to leave now), but something else that I like to do is to be the armchair president – the guy who, while he doesn’t have control over the roster, can shape the experience for the fans and team alike.

I know what you’re thinking – the Sharks are a team that failed to sell out just one game this year, and that was because of Obama. Tickets are sold twice their face value in the regular season, and even more for the playoffs. The fans are considered some of the loudest in the NHL, surprising those Eastern teams. And yet, I want to change things.

I can only imagine that Greg Jamison is a believer in lassez-faire economics mixed in with a bit of Field of Dreams (if you build it, they will come). Because really, the attention paid to getting new fans and attempting to retain the current ones is almost non-existant; instead, it is left up to the product that is on the ice. Now, that’s all fine and dandy, especially when the team is one of the few consistant Cup contenders in the league, but when the times get tough there needs to be a special outreach to fans in place. Like, say, when the economy goes down the toilet, or when the team gets bounced from the first round. Not that I would be mentioned any specific examples, of course.

I mean, the Sharks are the best professional team in the Bay Area by a long shot. The Raiders and the 49ers are jokes whose days are long behind them; the Warriors just suck; and the A’s and Giants are middling teams that have a 50-50 chance to make it to the post-season. Meanwhile, the Sharks have been locks for the playoffs ever since the lockout, and topping their already impressive regular season point total every year. And yet, less attention is paid to them than to the teams that have been mired in mediocrity or defeat for the better part of a decade.

To see how a team is marketed the right way, you just have to look at the Chicago Blackhawks. When Rocky Wirtz took over as owner the beginning of this season, the team when through a perceptible shift, despite having pretty much the same core. He promised that all games would be televised locally (something the Sharks have yet to do), and promoted the hell out of the team. The result? The 21,000+ seat arena was sold out for the majority of the season, the Winter Classic was brought to Wrigley, the players were voted onto the All Star team, and Chicago became a hockey town once again.

That said, let me put on my owner’s hat and show you exactly what I would do to improve the presence of the Sharks.

1. All games must be televised.
   This seems like it should be obvious (televised games means more people watching, more people watching means better ratings and more fans, and both of those means more money), but apparently its not. Before the 08-09 season started, there was a whopping nine games scheduled to not be televised, not on CSN-BA, CSN-BA HD, CSN-BA+, Versucks Versus, or NBC (yeah, right). Five possible channels, and yet no game. Granted, there were more games added on as the season went by, but I estimate that a good six games went untelevised.

 

2. All games must be broadcasted in high definition.
   HD is here, and its spreading like the swine flu. Hockey is the sport that is by far the most affected by HD, for one reason: it is much easier for newer fans to view the puck. In basketball, there is a large orange ball. In football, there is a large brown ball. In baseball, there is a small white ball, but the camera tends to follow it like the paparazzi follow Britney Spears.Amazingly enough, there were only 41 games broadcast in HD during the regular season – exactly half. In comparison, there were 46 Warriors games broadcasted in HD out of the 78 games in the season. While its not much of a difference – 50% of the games compared to 59% – it still would mean 7 more games broadcasted in HD for the Sharks if the percentages were constant. 

   But really, hockey in HD is like nothing else. You get to see more of the action – crucial when so much is away from the puck – and everything is a lot clearer. I mean, its beautiful. Almost as good as going to a game in person (what it lacks in atmosphere it makes up in instant replays, witty commentary, and free-ness). Guarenteed to change the minds of all those who think watching hockey on TV is too hard to follow.

3. Hire a new marketing director.
   So, frequenting various NHL-related blogs, I am often accosted by youtube videos of commercials for their team. Like this one advertising the Blackhawks on TV, or this one for voting Blackhawks to the All Star Game, or this one for the Bruins playoff run, or this one for the Predators. All of those videos were made for this season. 

   What do the Sharks have? The horrible “Its not hard to find the Sharks” commercials that CSN-BA run and the playoff tickets one with Joe Thornton, JR, and Sharkie that makes me cringe. I’m sorry, I’ve seen better commericals in my beginning media arts course. Believe me, that’s saying something.Its not hard to come up with a creative, yet cheap idea like those four aforementioned commericals did. The marketing department has free access to the players, the arena, hockey equipment, a bunch of jerseys, and can easily send out a bulliten attracting thousands of extras willing to be in it for free (aka “Sharks fans”).

   Oh, and not only does the quality of advertising have to increase, but the quantity as well – there was nothing done about the All Star Game despite having 5 players nominated for starting positions and one player having a somewhat successful grass-roots campaign. I’m not sure if many people in the greater San Jose area even knew that they could vote. And then when they actually sent out something, it was those horrible vector pictures of the players that looked like someone did in about 10 minutes because they realized that the deadline was the next day.

   What I propose? Have a contest like Doritos did for the Super Bowl, only with people coming up with commercial ideas instead of actually filming the commercial themselves. The winner would get center ice tickets to a division rival game and a chance to meet the players beforehand. Cheap, simple, and effective.

   Either that or just hire a better marketing director. Seriously.”Whose your Nabby” just doesn’t cut it anymore.

4. Have a team-imposed salary cap.
   Now this one is going to be a bit more controversial. I know that this past season was the first time that the Sharks spent to the cap, and I’m glad they did. The fans could see what they would get with that extra $5 million that Jamison usually hides away, and that’s good. However, with the economy in shambles and with the salary cap going who knows where for the 2010-2011 season (which, unfortunately, is also the season where most contracts will be up for the Sharks), the team should impose a cap ceiling $2 million below the NHL’s. Why? Two reasons: economic uncertainty and flexibility. 

   The cap has a liklihood of going down after this coming season, and so by not spending to it the Sharks would be in a much better position going into the future. The flexibility factor comes in when the team needs to bring in new guys just in case some players are hurt or if there is a hole in the team that needs to be plugged. There would be less worry about the player’s cap hit, and so the focus could largely be on whether or not the player would best fit with the team.

5. You know those jumbo screens outside of Mellon Arena and Verizon Center that fans can watch during games? Yeah, get one of those.
   Currently, there are a few ways to watch a Sharks game. You can go to a game, watch it from home, listen to it on the radio, stream it online (both free and, uh, not free), or – and this is only once in a blue moon – go to a Sharks-sponsored event at some place like Stanley’s or Dave and Buster’s. The latter option is the one that bothers me; while I have yet to actually go to one of those events, it seems odd that they would be held so out of the way. Especially the D&B option, which is all the way in Milpitas. Milpitas! 

   A giant screen broadcasting the game out to the park right across the street would give a sense of actually being at the game (what with all the fans in jerseys) without having to pay tickets for the game. But wait – doesn’t that seem like it would lose the organization money? Not if they sell food and Sharks merchandise outside of the arena as well as inside of it. It would further draw crowds to downtown and to the Tank, and with more than the standard 17,496 going to a game, it would seem like the fanbase is that much more impressive.

6. Pay less attention to Germany.
   The Sharks must have the award for drafting the most Germans, what with Goc, Ehrhoff, Greiss, and Sturm all their doing. And as decent as those players are, Germany isn’t exactly known for its hockey players. I would personally pay more attention to Sweden and Russia, the two European hockey powers with a lesser focus on the Czech Republic and Finland. All those countries (plus Canada and the US) have turned out great prospects and NHL players the past few years, and the Sharks haven’t quite picked up on the Euro thing, except where goalies are concerned.

So that’s my six-step plan. Some of it will be costly, other parts will take a while, but I truely believe that the Sharks will be better supported because of it.

Not anymore. The blog was formerly considered secondary to the content, but now I realize that the blog is the content. It is a medium through which I can express my thoughts and ideas, my feelings on a situation that would seem out of place anywhere else. There will be no shying away from controversy; instead, I will bask in it. Mark Purdy is an idiot – there you go! Actually, that’s not really all that controversial. Its more of an accepted fact.

Anyways, I hope to be gracing you with my thoughts at least twice a week, and hopefully more during the summer – daily, even. And I hope somebody actually reads it. Seriously, how discouraging is it to write something that could be the next Great American Novel and nobody reads it? Not that I’ll be spouting off any fiction.

Peace.